I Have Dreams to Remember - Part 2

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Read Part 1 HERE.

Chapter 2

Khushi sat down on the edge of the bed next to a bag packed haphazardly with five dupattas, 2 blouses, 3 pairs of churidaar and only one saree. She almost laughed when she looked at the bag. It was so pitiful, so obvious to anyone observing that she had no intention of actually leaving. That she had been waiting for her husband to come rushing in and stop her, fall to his knees with explanations and apologies.

It had been almost 10 hours and with every passing minute Khushi felt her heart break a little more. Trying to keep images of Arnav and the woman out of her mind was getting more and more difficult. In the past 6 months that they had been married Arnav had never spent a night away from home and Khushi could only imagine that with their secret revealed tonight the lovers had taken the opportunity to be together for a whole night rather than fleeting snatched moments of privacy.

The sun had only just begun to paint the sky with orange and red when Khushi heard the unmistakeable footfalls of her husband. She froze and her eyes darted around the room, she quickly zipped up the bag beside her, embarrassed at its contents and what they would reveal to her shrewd and calculating husband. She was standing and nervously wringing her hands when the door opened, somewhat hesitantly it seemed and Khushi had to take a deep breath in to prepare herself before she could raise her eyes from the floor to look at him.

His jacket was flung over one arm, his tie was absent, most likely crumpled into a ball in his pocket, his shirt was crumpled, beard unshaven and his eyes tired from lack of sleep. All the evidence supported her suspicions of his whereabouts throughout the night.

When Khushi had been 10 years old she had found an injured pigeon behind the school dustbins and promptly adopted it. In time, the pigeon's wing healed and it flew away. However the makeshift cage Khushi had begged her Babuji to build for it still stood proud in their garden and the cracked saucers her Amma had let her have had been refilled with fresh water and birdseed until the day she had been forced to leave her beloved hometown. She was what the more cynical populace would term 'an eternal optimist' and so when Arnav looked at her bewildered and surprised, Khushi replied with a shaky smile.

Arnav had expected hysterics in the office; instead his wife had largely been silent in her distress and now he had been expecting an empty bedroom, had prepared himself for an empty life but it was populated and bright. She was smiling at him as if he'd just returned from a long day at work, not like they had last clashed gazes over the shoulder of a buxom willing female whose mouth had housed his tongue only seconds earlier.

The bag had not escaped his gaze and the odd sight of it, sitting so forlorn, and crumpled over into itself from emptiness caused the lump in his throat to grow. He went and sat on the bed next to it, indicating that Khushi should do the same. She came readily and there they sat, separated by a half empty red and blue duffel bag.

'I know about you and Shyam.'

The sun had risen fully by the time he spoke, the shadows had all but disappeared and the pool sparkled in the sunlight. The house would slowly begin to wake and Arnav knew there could be no more delays. He had hoped to avoid this conversation, stayed at his office in the hopes that Khushi would understand, that she would make the connection, leave quietly and save him the agony of watching her leave.

'I saw you on the terrace, on Akash and Payal's wedding... on our wedding.'

He could see the questions in her eyes. If he knew why didn't he tell her then? Why had he taken her away from the wedding rituals and asked her to marry him at the same mandap? Why had he never mentioned the fact since?

He could make excuses for his behaviour, sugar coat his actions but after 6 months of almost constant pretence Arnav felt weary, felt the need to tell the truth for once. And so, almost cruelly he detailed his plan to marry Khushi for 6 months, no more, no less, until his sister gave birth, until she could be safely informed of that her husband and the woman she had considered her friend had been deceiving her.

He could see Khushi's faith in him shattering with every word he spoke and Arnav felt the inexplicable need to redeem himself and so even though he hadn't intended to he found himself telling her about the woman he had hired for the ridiculous finale they had gone through the night before. He needed the assurance that Khushi knew adultery was not one of his many transgressions.

Soon there was nothing left to say and Khushi who had been wide-eyed and silent throughout his confessions began to cry. The urge to gather her up in his arms was still strong in his gut and Arnav turned his head away, disgusted with himself.

If Khushi had to rank in order the heartache she had felt over the course of that night that moment would have outranked them all. To see the husband that she loved so desperately capable of believing such horrors about her and unable to look at her was more painful than having to witness your love in the arms of another.

She choked down another sob and wiped her eyes as she made her way to the wardrobe. Her second-round selection of clothing items was much more discerning and upon inspection a few hours later the bag would actually yield some full outfits.

Khushi stopped when she reached the door with her bag in hand and turned, requiring one last look. If he had looked away then, perhaps she wouldn't have spoken but he didn't. He met her gaze, and Khushi who had always been able to read him better than others saw the guilt lurking behind the facade of vengeance and so she did.

'Do you remember that  I was once engaged Arnav...ji? That my... my fianc betrayed me and I called off the engagement? Do you remember his name?'

Khushi didn't wait for an answer, but turned away and closed the door behind her, it's soft click masking the even softer voice of her husband inside.

'Shyam.'