SS: The Lining is Silver - Part 2

 
Part 2


It was well after midnight but Arnav didn't want to wait. He needed to see Khushi now. He hadn't decided exactly how he was going to talk to her but he'd taken her mobile number from Di and if it came to it, he would just have to phone and hope she would come outside to meet him.

There was no need though since he saw Khushi standing on her balcony looking at his approaching car with a mix of fear and anticipation on her face. He got out of the car and walked towards her slowly holding her gaze.

Arnav stopped in front of Khushi suddenly at a loss as to why he was here, what he wanted to say.

'How is Anjaliji? Does she... does she know?'

'She knows. Everyone knows.'

'Oh,' Khushi looked away from him and back at the stars and Arnav moved to stand next to her with his hands similarly on the railing.

'Everyone knows about Jeejaji. Everyone knows about...me,' he felt Khushi turn her head to look at him as he continued to look at the stars. 'She's not happy with me. I haven't done anything right. Everything's wrong. Di, Jeejaji, Lavanya... you. I did everything wrong.'

Khushi looked down at her hands. She didn't know what to say, what to do. She held her breath as she saw Arnav move his hand over hers gently.

'Will you help me? Can you make my mom happy with me?'

Khushi looked up to see Arnav's tear filled eyes, pleading with her for help but she didn't know how she could help. Everything was too twisted, too complicated. 'Arnavji, I don't...How can I..?'

'You can make them forgive me. Di, Lavanya... Mom. They'll listen to you. Everyone always listens to you.'

'But why would they... Anjaliji, Lavanyaji... it's my fault not yours. I ruined both of their lives without even realising it.'

'You didn't mean to, I did. I hurt Lavanya on purpose; I used her to get to you. I ignored Jeejaji's absences as well because I didn't want to see the truth. It was easier to hide from the truth than to admit it and deal with it.'

Khushi looked back down to where his hand was still over hers, protecting her hand from the cold night time breeze. 'You're right. We did everything wrong but I don't know how to fix it.'

'You don't have to fix it alone,' Arnav said aware that she still hadn't acknowledged or made any reference to his earlier outburst. 'We could do it together.'

Khushi continued to look at their hands. What did it mean? What did he mean? He'd said he wanted her but what did that even mean? It wasn't an admission of love, more an admission of weakness. But did she even want an admission of love? Did she love him?

'Khushi?' Arnav saw her reticence and slowly began to withdraw his hand. 'I guess you won't forgive me either.'

This morning she'd been engaged to Shyamji and he'd been getting engaged to Lavanyaji and she had made peace with the inevitability of the situation. Or at least as much as was possible but now, everything was mixed up again. There were too many factors, too many broken hearts, too many harsh words exchanged and even more loving words left unsaid.

Arnav didn't even feel angry as he began to slowly walk away from Khushi. If there was any anger it was towards himself. He had engineered everything to this point; he was the one that had brought things to where they were today.

Khushi watched Arnav walk away and she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She didn't know what she wanted from him but she knew what she didn't want. She didn't want any more unspoken words between them.

Arnav stopped as he heard the footsteps behind him and then he felt his hand being enveloped by small fingers, enveloping his heart with warmth and hope.

'I forgive you.'

Arnav slowly turned to face her trying to read her eyes again, the dark sky and the unshed tears made it difficult for him to see anything but the unspoken pain in her eyes. He squeezed her hand as he spoke, 'Khushi, do you think you could ever...' His words were so soft, so quiet, almost silent against the wind.

 'Ever what?'

'Feel the same as I do,' Arnav looked away from her to their hands scared of the rejection he might see in her eyes.

'H...how do you feel?'

Arnav looked up trying and failing to read her eyes again. 'Don't you know?'

Khushi shook her head slowly. She needed to hear him say the words before she could believe that they were true, before she could decide if it was what she wanted.

'I love you,' Arnav said simply, tired of all the games, tired of all the pretence and lies.

Khushi's breath stilled and she felt her heartbeat increase. Yes, she realised, this was what she wanted. She nodded at Arnav, eyes still full of tears. 'I think I could.'

Arnav wanted to pull Khushi towards him and kiss her until she couldn't breathe, until her 'could' turned into a 'will' but he knew it was too soon. There were still too many things to fix, too many words and actions to repent for but he knew he could do it. He could do everything, now that Khushi had given him some hope.