SS: Main Jiyoongi - Part 1

Main Jiyoongi

Khushi ran away from the voice calling her name and locked herself inside the bathroom. She didn't know it was possible to hate this much. 'But I do. I hate her. I hate him. I hate myself. Is this it? Is this what I was waiting 20 years for? This is what I went to sleep dreaming about? Is this love?'

'Chamkili! Are you inside?'

Khushi tried to answer but instead she found herself heaving over the sink, tears still streaming down her face.

'Khushi? Are you okay? Are you being sick? Khushi?'

When Khushi could finally breathe again, she looked up to the mirror at her tear stricken face. This was not the face that had been in her mirror this morning. This was somebody else. Somebody she didn't recognise. Somebody broken, inside and out.

'Chamkili?'

'Lavanyaji, please. I'll be out in a second. Just... you go. I'll come.'

'Khushi are you sure?'

'Yes please, just go.'

'Okay but come quickly, I have big news for you.'

Khushi slid down the wall of the bathroom, not caring that the condensation on the walls would probably ruin her sari. She closed her eyes trying to stop the tears escaping but there was no point. There were too many of them and only one of her.

She cried until she had no tears or energy left. She hadn't cried this much when Babuji was ill. Why was she even crying? Crying for something that had never even existed except in some vague fantasy?

She got up shakily, unsteady on her feet which reminded her instantly of her twisted ankle and what had followed. 'No Khushi, you're not going to think about him. Just Lavanyaji; your friend. Lavanyaji is your friend and she's getting married. You should be happy. You are happy! That's all that matters, Lavanyaji is all that matters. Nothing else, no one else.'

It took her another 20 minutes to fix her hair and make-up into some semblance of normality. Her eyes were still puffy and there were hints of redness but there was nothing she could do about that now. She'd just have to attribute it to being sick. That's all.

Khushi looked at the mirror one final time and practiced her smile. It looked fake and forced. She tried again. It was her eyes. They weren't cooperating with the rest of her face.

Khushi closed her eyes and thought of home. She thought of Lucknow, of Amma, Babuji and Jiji. One day they would return. One day they'd be back in Lucknow and everything would be just like before. Khushi would be happy again.

Khushi opened her eyes and smiled again. A real smile this time.