FF: Breathing Only Half of the Air - Chapter 14

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Chapter 14


They had fallen into a routine of sorts over the last few days and so Arnav was disappointed when he came home from work to find Khushi and Sharman not waiting for him. Usually he helped Khushi feed Sharman at breakfast although she would call it hindering, then while he was at work Khushi would visit her father with Payal and they would again sit together to eat dinner. Arnav would then do some work in his room while Khushi put Sharman to sleep before joining him at the poolside. They hadn't kissed again after that first night and Arnav understood Khushi wanting to tell Suraj about them first. Instead they spent hours talking about the past three years and everything that had happened.

Arnav went into his room to put away his bag and change clothes before checking Khushi's room in case they were in there but finding that empty as well he went down stopping at the bottom of the stairs. Disappointed once again he turned to return to his room when he felt a hand on his arm.

'Looking for Khushiji?'

Arnav nodded reluctantly, he had been waiting for this conversation to happen. He had noticed his sister's disapproval of the time he and Khushi spent together over the past week but hadn't remarked on the change of attitude she seemed to have. Once Anjali had fully recovered three years ago he had finally told her the truth about Shyam and in his emotional state also revealed his feelings for Khushi. She had then spent the next three years trying to get Arnav to find Khushi and so he couldn't understand why now she seemed so off-put by the idea.

'She's gone to the hospital again. With Surajji.'

'Oh right.' Arnav paused before continuing again to walk up the stairs. Khushi had told him Suraj would be arriving the following day but obviously he'd come early.

'Chote what are you doing?'

'What do you mean Di?' They'd come to a stop outside of his room and he grudgingly turned to face her.

'You know what I mean Chote. You and Khushiji... I... You know all I want is for you to be happy but don't you see what you're doing? After what your Jijaji did to me and even what he did to you and Khushiji how can the two of you do the same to Suraj?'

Her voice had started to rise and Arnav out both of his hands up in an attempt to stop her overworked brain before it went too far. 'No, no Di. You don't understand. Khushi and Suraj...'

'No I do understand Chote! It doesn't matter that you knew Khushi first or that you loved her first what matters is her family. She has a son! How can you do this to him?'

'Di, Di,' Arnav put his arms around Anjali trying to calm her down as he ushered her into his room, 'it's nothing like that Di, I promise.'

'Then what is it Chote? I've seen you two this week, everybody has! You're not even trying to hide it. I can't believe Khushiji would...'

'Di! Stop, just stop.' He made her sit down on the bed and knelt down in front of her. 'Just think about what you're saying Di. You really think Khushi would cheat on her husband? You think I would help her do that? Especially after what Shyam did to you? Is that what you think of us?'

Anjali shook her head and gingerly wiped away some of her tears. 'Then what is going on with you and Khushiji? When she... when she looks at you I can tell she... Chote she loves you.'

Arnav smiled slightly feeling as if his heart had just doubled in size at the knowledge that Khushi's love for him was so visible. 'I know Di, I know.'

'But... what? Chote, I don't understand. Please just tell me honestly. What is going on between you and Khushiji?'

'Di we... we love each other.'

'But you just said...'

'No Di, we're not going to hide it. Khushi's going to tell Suraj it will be alright.'

'Alright? How can it be alright? Chote what are you even saying? Khushiji is going to tell Surajji? Tell him what? And what about Sharman? Have you thought about him at all? He's just a baby! You're talking about breaking up a family!'

'Di, I...' Arnav tried to hold her hand but Anjali pulled away and walked towards the door. She stopped and looked over her shoulder and he could see the disappointment in her eyes.

'You of all people should know how hard it is to grow up without a mother, how can you inflict that on an innocent baby?'

---

Khushi stepped through the poolside doors to find Arnav looking up at the stars. She could sense a change in him from when she'd last seen him in the morning. 'Hey,'

Arnav looked over his shoulder and acknowledged her presence before turning back to the sky.

'Suraj is here.' Khushi waited, expecting a response questioning Suraj's early arrival but there was only silence. 'Babuji's much better as well. The Doctor says he should be able to come home in a week or two. Arnavji? Arnavji is something... did I do something wrong? What happened?'

'Are you going to tell Suraj tonight?'

Khushi felt some of her tension ease. Obviously Arnav would be feeling tense himself now that Suraj had come back. He was probably worried that she would change her mind. 'Yes I'm going to...'

'I don't think you should.'

The calmly spoken interruption stunned her into silence.

'I think we've made a mistake. Sharman needs you. You should stay with Suraj and Sharman.'

'Sharman? But Arnavji you know Suraj would never keep me away from Sharman. I told you he's happy for me to always be involved in Sharman's life. I know it might be a bit difficult with them in Mumbai and us in Delhi but we'll find a way. We can...'

'No Khushi. This is the best thing for everyone.'

'No! You don't get to decide what's best for everyone! I did that once and we lost three years! I don't want to lose any more time Arnavji! I can't...'

She had expected some response, some show of emotion but he was still looking up towards the sky and Khushi took a small step towards him intending to make him turn before thinking better of it. 'Arnavji I don't know what's happened to you since this morning but I can't... what you're asking me to do... I can't do that to Suraj. Even if you don't... even if we're not... even if you and I aren't going to be together I can't deprive Suraj of the chance to finding someone he loves.  He knows... he knows I can never love him like I love...'

It was getting harder to hold back her tears and Khushi took a few calming breaths and blinked rapidly. 'I have to go.'

Arnav turned to see her just as she was walking out of his room his face lined with tears.