SS: Do You Sleep? - Part 4

31.50 to 35.30

Part 4

Asher drew the curtains and then tucked the blanket around Khirad. He wanted her to be as comfortable as she could be on the thin hospital mattress. She needed to rest. He knew she hadn't slept last night and they had spent the whole day pacing the hospital corridor waiting for the results of Hareem's operation.

The surgery had been successful, Hareem would recover and Asher knew he should be elated and he was. But the thought that Khirad no longer needed him, that she would leave him again and take Hareem with her this time pressed on his mind, not allowing him to even breathe a sigh of relief that his daughter's life was no longer in danger.

He sat on the chair beside the bed, the one reserved for family members visiting their ill relatives and that's all he was to Hareem and Khirad. He was a visitor into the small world they had made for themselves when he had refused to acknowledge them four years ago. He had abandoned them and now they would abandon him.

He watched the steady rise and fall of her back, almost wishing that she would turn so he could watch her sleep.

'Khirad even now that you're with me you're so weak I wonder when you were alone and ... I don't know how you were dealing with Hareem's illness. When you first found out about her illness what you must have gone through. Why did you go through troubles alone? You could have at least called me once and seen...'

'My heart wants to... wants to take you very far from here. Give you security and take you away from all the pain in the world. I don't know why you did... what you did. But one thing is true Khirad, I completely failed in hating you. '

Asher stood up and edged towards her so he could see her face. He sighed when he saw she was asleep, a small part of him had been hoping that she was awake; that she had heard what he'd say. He didn't know if he would have the strength to say all this to her again when she was awake, to face the fear of her rejection.

He put his glasses on again and resisting the urge to touch her, to stroke her unbearably soft cheeks he left the room.

---

Even when she was sure he was gone, Khirad kept her eyes shut; afraid that if she opened them she would cry again. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would never again cry over Asher Hussain and she had already broken that promise once.

Today wasn't about her, wasn't about them and the mistakes they made. It was about Hareem, their daughter. The daughter Asher had abandoned, the daughter Asher had never seen until a month ago, the daughter who until three hours ago had been facing an uncertain future.

She was also the daughter that Khirad would break a thousand promises for. Khirad's shoulders shook and when she finally dropped off to sleep a few minutes later the rough polyester pillow cover was soaked through.