FF: Breathing Only Half of the Air - Chapter 13

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Chapter 13  

'Now what, Khushi?'

She looked up to see the side of his face, controlled and not showing any emotion. His question had stumped her. She truly hadn't thought beyond telling Arnav the truth and clearing his misconceptions. If she was honest with herself she had avoided thinking about the outcome of this conversation because she had worried that it wouldn't matter to him; that she wouldn't matter to him. 'I don't know... what do you..?'

What about Suraj? Does he...?' Arnav swallowed, trying to make sense of the flying thoughts and emotions inside him which had finally started to settle leaving him with an uncomfortable feeling and an inability to express his thoughts. 'What have you...? You love me but what about him? Do you... How do you feel about him? And does he...?'

His hands had begun to fall from her back and Khushi pulled away herself so she was facing him properly. 'He knows. He knows how I feel about you. He wanted... He encouraged me to tell you. Suraj is so nice and understanding, he's been everything to me for the past three years. My best friend, my brother, everything.'

'So he knew all along? You didn't... I mean it was just a marriage of convenience on both sides? He doesn't have any feelings for you?'

Khushi shook her head but her recent vow to be fully truthful, no matter the consequences made her speak immediately. 'Arnavji we did... I mean to say that Suraj and I have...'

Her struggle to find the right words and worried expression conveyed much more than her halting sentences and Arnav pursed his lips together tightly and nodded. 'I see.' He chose to remain silent instead of saying something he would inevitably regret later.

Khushi watched as his face continued to remain impassive and unreadable to her. His question was still playing on her mind as she tried miserably to imagine a future without Suraj and Sharman and so his silence rankled and she stood up agitated. 'Don't pretend you've been sitting here all this time waiting for me! I've seen the pictures, I've seen the news! Arnav Singh Raizada the playboy! ASR only mourned his relationship for a couple of months since his break up from Lavanya Kashyap, Different girl every night!' She quoted word for word one particular entertainment news segment that she had recorded and watched over and over just to see the video clip that had accompanied it.

Arnav stood up shocked and held her upper arms to stop her moving her hands about wildly, 'no Khushi, no! That's not what I meant at all! It doesn't matter to me at all! I was just trying to find the right thing to say. Please Khushi, believe me! I have no problem with your past relationship with Suraj; it's not my place to be offended anyway not after the way I pushed you away. I just need to know what you're going to do now. You are... you are going to do something? We are going to be together aren't we?'

His voice trailed off but the uncertainty and worry was so evident in his voice, causing her too ache on his behalf. Suraj had promised her he wouldn't keep Sharman away from her and she trusted him. The actual details could be worked out later but for now she needed to comfort the man in front of her. Khushi reached up to cup his face in her hands and nodded firmly. 'Yes.'

He moved his hands from her arms to around her back, holding her tightly and resting his head on her shoulder. Khushi stroked his back and kissed him lightly on the neck, soothing away his fears of losing her all over again.

---

There was a spring in his step as he came down the stairs which didn't go unnoticed by his sister. She hugged him and asked about his trip but all through the questions he could see her bursting with curiosity about his good mood considering the circumstances under which he'd left nearly two weeks ago.

'Chotey, won't you tell me what's made you so happy? Not that I'm complaining. Not at all.'

Arnav grinned and stood up from the dining table before leaning down to kiss her on the forehead, 'all in good time Di. Have some patience.'  He turned around to leave and go to work, slightly annoyed that Khushi was nowhere to be seen. She hadn't been in her room and he didn't want to ask someone where she was.

He gave one more cursory look around the living room and began to pick up his bag when he heard her voice. He turned quickly to see her coming out of the kitchen talking to Sharman whose hand she was holding as he walked towards the living room significantly better than he had on that night with Arnav.


Arnav smiled slowly dropping his bag back down on the chair and walked towards them. Khushi noticed him coming and smiled back shyly as she sat down on the couch.

'Hi.'

'Aren't you going to work?'

He nodded but sat down next to her waving hello at Sharman who was standing on the floor holding onto Khushi's legs and eyeing him curiously.

Khushi fed Sharman feeling both shy and embarrassed as Arnav watched her blatantly ignoring the curious look that Anjali was giving the two of them.

'I spoke to Suraj this morning'

'Today? Oh, what did he say?'

'Oh I didn't... he's coming here again this weekend so I'll... It's better if I talk to him in person. Is that okay?'

'Of course, of course,' he nodded enthusiastically feeling elated at the thought that this time next week he and Khushi would be free to be together.

Khushi smiled herself seeing his face light up. Her embarrassment was gone and she felt mischievous all of a sudden.  'Sharman! Please Baba, one more spoon. Look, Arnavji's having some. Yummy!'

Arnav looked at the spoon Khushi had thrust in front of him which seemed to be full of what he could only describe as a snot-coloured looking paste and grimaced. It smelt bad too.

'Go on Arnavji!'

'What?'

'Sharman will eat some if he sees you eating.'

'What?' Arnav looked from Khushi's eager face to Sharman's and then back to the spoon with trepidation. He opened his mouth slightly and shoved the spoon inside. The taste was revolting, like nothing he had ever tasted before, it was almost like he was physically eating the terrible smell that came with it. He gagged as he swallowed it, rubbing his tongue on the roof of the mouth trying to create enough saliva to erase the taste.

Khushi burst out into laughter, clutching her stomach as she watched him continue to make faces.

'Khushi!'

'Sorry! I'm so sorry,' she said although she didn't look remotely apologetic with her lips still turned up in a wide grin.

Arnav stopped rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand when he saw Sharman begin to shuffle over towards him. He held onto Khushi's knees for support and then the couch until finally his hands rested over Arnav's knee. Arnav froze, not wanting to ruin the moment by doing something wrong. He looked up at Khushi for some sort of cue as to how he should act or what he should do but she had simply shrugged and smiled before standing up with the bowl of food.

Arnav lifted a hand helplessly to stop her leaving him alone but she walked off towards the kitchen and Arnav looked down to see Sharman grinning up at him toothily. Arnav attempted to smile back, his hands held out in readiness just in case Sharman should fall when he leaned forward with his mouth open onto Arnav's knee. Arnav cocked his head trying to see what Sharman was doing but the baby was still, with his forehead resting on Arnav's thigh.

Khushi came back into the room and put a hand over her chest as she saw Arnav look at Sharman curiously. He looked so much like a child himself when he didn't have that intense expression fixed to his face.

'Did you have fun without me?'

Sharman and Arnav both looked up at the sound of her voice.

'Whoops.'

Khushi frowned and Arnav looked down again to see the part of his knee where Sharman had been drenched in drool. 'Oh.'

'I'm sorry,' Khushi said reaching forward with her dupatta to wipe it off but Arnav stopped her midway and shook his head.

'It's fine, it's no problem I'll just go change. I have to go to work anyway,' he smiled at Khushi and ruffled the tiny patch of hair on Sharman's head as he stood up. He was still smiling when he walked past Anjali, completely missing her and not realising that she had been standing and watching them with a frown on her face the entire time.