FF: It's Not Right - Chapter 31

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Chapter 31

He saw her and it was like he was seeing her again for the first time. It was the same but it was different. Her hair was tied up in a bun, highlighting the beauty spot next to her ear and he remembered the taste of her skin there. Her lips, painted a light pink, were pursed together in a straight line and her eyes were downcast looking at the ground as she rushed towards the car and he didn’t even realise when she’d opened the car door for herself and sat inside.

He got in himself and drove silently, unsure of how to start the conversation, waiting for her to begin as she usually did, with a litany of questions about his health, his family or his work but none were forthcoming. He continued to drive aimlessly for another 15 minutes as the silence and tension in the car threatened to smother him. ‘How have you been?’

‘Good,’ Khushi replied simply looking at him for the briefest second before she went back to looking out of the window. She hadn’t expected him to call her and to see him today after he’d basically ignored her for two weeks but she’d known they would see each other again at some point and spent every night for the past week planning all her responses. However acting casual and indifferent to Arnav was proving a lot more difficult than she’d anticipated and she avoided looking at him for too long because she had already felt her resolve slipping as soon as she’d heard his voice on the phone.

‘Erm... and your family? ...Everybody okay?’

‘Yes, they’re all fine. Thank you.’

He sighed and looked for a place to pull over, parked the car and removed his seatbelt, turning slightly in his seat so he could face her. ‘I was really busy while I was in England so...’

Khushi turned to face him automatically with a huge smile, ‘how was London? Was it cold? Did it rain? Everybody says it always rains in London! Did you go to all the Fashion shows?’

Arnav sighed mentally in relief, he hadn’t been looking forward to apologising or explaining his behaviour and now it seemed like he wouldn’t have to. ‘It was good; I think it rained once yeah.’

She didn’t want to hear his excuses and have to forgive him if he did indeed have a legitimate excuse and so she acted as if everything was normal, as if the past two weeks of silence hadn’t hurt her immensely and made her realise just how little importance Arnav Singh Raizada placed on personal relationships.

He started driving again after a few minutes when there was a lull in the conversation expecting Khushi to fill it soon enough but she fell back into silence as she had been earlier and he eyed her in confusion. Was she angry or not? ‘Is something wrong with the car?’

She looked up at him, completely confused, ‘huh?’

He smiled at her and tried to inject some humour into his voice that he wasn’t really feeling, ‘well whenever I start driving you go all weird and quiet. Normally you never shut up, so what’s wrong today?’

Khushi turned her lips up in an attempt at a smile and went back to looking at the window, ‘I’m allowed a day off aren’t I?’

Her terse response had his brow furrowing further, there was definitely something wrong. ‘Khushi, are you...’

She cut him off again, her voice animated once again ‘where are we going anyway? We’ve been driving for ages.’

‘Oh I... I thought we could go for a drive. Is that okay? Or did you want to go eat or something?’

‘No, no this is fine. Although I’ve never understood going for a drive you know. I mean in a car. What’s the point? Now a drive on a motorbike, I understand. Fresh air, scenery all around, not blocked by metal. Back in Lucknow, I used to take Jeeji out on my scooter on the weekends and drive to this park where there’s a stall that has the best food ever!’ She forgot that it was Arnav she was talking to as she was transported back to those heady carefree summer days, when she’d lived day to day and her world had revolved entirely around her family.

Her world had expanded considerably since she’d arrived in Delhi; it was no longer as insular as it used to be when even her best friend had been a family member.  But sometimes Khushi wondered if the new friends she’d made were worth the cost of her family. Even before, Buaji and Amma would get mad at her for various things but then she’d make them forgive her almost immediately by apologising or with some stupid prank or other. These days however, she didn’t need to apologise, because she didn’t need them to be talking to her, she had enough other people in her life to satisfy her constant craving for conversation and companionship that it didn’t matter if Buaji and Amma were angry and Payal supported them.

Once again there was silence, but there was no overbearing tension this time. The conversation had run its course and Khushi was now leaning on her hand against the window looking contemplative. He looked over at her regularly as he drove, taking in her profile, and especially the hair that he longed to take out of its confines and run his hands through. He’d never seen her hair in a bun before, it had always been in a plait or loose. He wondered about the new style she’d adopted and if it was supposed to be some sort of statement. Had she seen him that day at her office? The thought of her and Abhinav still preyed on his mind despite his best efforts to forget in the past two weeks.

He tried to brush the thought aside and continued to drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as much as he enjoyed her usual chatter. He had missed her these past two weeks, even more than he’d initially anticipated and it worried him slightly. If this was how he was feeling, he could just imagine how Khushi would be feeling and he didn’t want to lead her on. He liked her but she knew he wasn’t interested in marriage, she should know that this relationship couldn’t actually go anywhere. It was just supposed to be fun while it lasted. So... why did he feel a hollow ache in his chest at the thought of it ending? At the thought of her moving on from him? Moving on... to Abhinav?

---

‘I bet you’d love to be on a motorbike right now wouldn’t you?’ He said wryly as small droplets began to fall onto the windshield.

‘Definitely, rain would make it even more fun!’ Khushi rolled down her window and put a hand out to let raindrops fall onto her hand. ‘I bet you hate the rain as well don’t you? Laad Governor! Is there anything you actually like apart from your plants?’

‘Actually, I like rain’ he said as he turned his wipers on as the rain got heavier.

Khushi turned to look at him in surprise as she rolled the window back up, ‘You do?’

‘Yeah I do, it’s... it’s good for the plants,’ Arnav smirked and looked away.

Her laughter this time was genuine, and Khushi cocked her head and watched him drive for a few seconds. He really was weird.

---

‘Khushi, wake up.’

‘Huh?’ Why was Payal’s voice so husky Khushi wondered as she opened her eyes but instead of Payal she found herself staring up at Arnav’s velvet brown eyes; ‘Arnav?!’ She looked around in shock, her heart racing with fear until she realised he hadn’t in fact snuck into her bedroom but that they were still in his car.

‘You fell asleep,’ he stated obviously. He hadn’t wanted to wake her up, she’d looked so angelic while sleeping and he probably could have watched her for hours but it was getting late and he knew she’d probably have to be home soon. He had contemplated taking a picture of her, having realised that morning that he didn't have any apart from the one he'd taken from Anjali's phone but the slightly creepy ramifications of taking a picture of someone while they were asleep and without their knowledge had stopped him.

‘Oh right, sorry. It was the rain, you know the sound. Always puts me to sleep,’ Khushi muttered as she surreptitiously ran a hand over her chin checking for any drool.

---

‘So when should I, I mean when do you want to meet again? Tomorrow?’ As soon as the word left his mouth he realised how desperate he sounded and her quick shake of refusal had him mentally breathing a sigh of relief.

‘I’m pretty erm... busy this week. Maybe on Thursday? I’ll let you know,’ Khushi bounded out of the car with a quick cheery wave and went inside hurriedly, forcing herself not to look back.

Arnav stayed staring at the house for a few minutes, bewildered by the way she’d left and by the whole day in fact. He shook his head and started the car to go back home. Only slightly more relieved than he had been when he’d been parked in front of her house this afternoon. She didn’t seem angry at him but then again she hadn’t hugged or kissed him or even addressed him by his name even once. Why couldn’t Khushi Kumari Gupta ever be straight forward for once?