OS: I Have Dreams to Remember

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OS: I Have Dreams to Remember

Khushi looked at herself in the mirror in the reception area one last time before she made her way through the office towards Arnav's office. She'd worn a red saree and left her hair loose just like he liked it but it was her smile that made all the difference. She didn't think she'd ever been happier in her life than she was at that moment. Okay Arnav had forgotten their six month anniversary but that didn't bother her. Dates and anniversaries didn't matter when she she knew how much he loved her.

Every day had been better than the last ever since he'd confessed his love to her on Jiji's wedding day and proclaimed he couldn't live another day without her. He was everything she had imagined her perfect husband to be and even more on top. He attended poojas, came home early, bought her jalebis and presents on an almost daily basis and told her he loved her at every possible opportunity.

Khushi's steps quickened as she reached the stairs, eager to surprise her husband. She'd told Aman she was coming and had organised dinner on the roof in advance but warned him to not to tell Arnav anything. She could just imagine the slow smile Arnav would give when he saw her before he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately  before telling her how much he'd missed her all day and how much he loved her.

Khushi opened the door and the smile on her face faded.

Arnav was standing in the middle of his office, arms wrapped around a tall woman dressed in a short red dress. One hand was at the base of her spine, almost on her bottom while the other was at her nape. Khushi watched in shock, beads of sweat beginning to form on her forehead and neck as Arnav lowered his head towards the woman and kissed her.

The kiss seemed to last an eternity with Khushi being unable to tear her eyes away from the horrifying sight in front of her and then Arnav pulled back from the woman and looked up, straight into Khushi's eyes. The numbness lifted and a sob escaped Khushi as she turned around and ran down the stairs, her eyes burning with tears.

Arnav watched her leave, fighting down every urge to chase after her, to hold her, kiss her and beg for forgiveness. He had known this day would come eventually, he'd thought he was prepared for the tears for the shock, but after 6 months of seeing only happiness, only joy on her face, the sorrow and dejection he'd just seen had him almost reeling with the realisation that her tears still affected him.

He was still staring at the door, his breathing heavy when he realised that his arms were still around the woman and he instantly pushed her away, repulsed by the thought of touching her anymore. He turned around to his desk wiping his lips, trying to remove all evidence of the kiss feeling bile rise up in his throat as he remembered it

Arnav sat at the desk and wrote out a cheque handing it to the woman without even looking at her again. 'You can go now.' He didn't need her anymore, her job was done.

Once she'd closed the door behind her Arnav put his head in his hands trying to fight off the feelings of guilt and disgust that were overwhelming him. Now was not the time for those emotions. This was how he should have felt all those time he had kissed Khushi, all those times he had touched her, all those times they had made love. No. Not love. Sex. That's all it was.

Instead every moment with Khushi had felt like he was touching heaven. Touching but not quite reaching it because the flames of hell licked at the edges constantly reminding him that heaven was a figment of imagination just like Angels. Just like Khushi's innocence.

Now was the time for Arnav to feel elated and satisfied. Poetic justice had finally been achieved. But as he sat at his desk staring blankly at the screen in front of him he finally let himself admit the truth. He had exacted his revenge on Khushi for himself. Not for Di as he had magnanimously reminded himself every day while showering love and affection on Khushi. Not for his now newly born niece as he had told himself every night lying with Khushi in his arms satiated and content. But purely and simply for himself and the agony she had made him endure on that night.

The agony that flared again with every new sighting of Shyam, who was still living in his house, still worshipped by his sister, adored by his family and would now be adored by his niece. The agony that only quelled in those secluded moments with Khushi when she would whisper proclamations of love in his ear as they climbed together towards the peaks of heaven. The relief was only ever temporary though as reality would always come crashing down on Arnav and he would once again see only the woman that had dared to damage his sister's marriage and not the woman he was so desperately in love with.

Now she would know how he had felt that night. Seeing her in the arms of another man, feeling the pieces of his newly formed heart shatter and fall at his feet with every word she uttered. Arnav ran his hand through his hair, trying to push away the guilt. He had nothing to feel guilty for. He had done nothing wrong. This was all Khushi's fault. She had started the game, he had merely finished it.