SS: Selfless, Cold and Composed - Part 1

Part 1

It had been a week since he'd seen her. He'd resisted the urge to go and see her every single day but he knew he would have been unable to resist if he hadn't known that he would see her today. All morning and afternoon he waited. Shouldn't she have arrived by now? The house was full of guests, he couldn't turn a corner without being confronted by at least 10 people wanting to wish him well. Even if she was here, how would he know? Of course he'd know. He always knew, didn't he?

Arnav went back to his room, the only place where he could even hear himself think. Although thinking wasn't a good thing lately. All his thoughts were about her, every waking moment, even in his dreams, it was all Khushi, all the time.

He sat on his bed, head in his hands, eyes closed and a million images of Khushi running through his head. She was crying, every single time. Arnav wasn't sure he could even remember what she looked like when she smiled, all he could see was her tears.

'Chote, it's almost time. Are you ready?'

Arnav opened his eyes at the sound of Anjali at the door. It was almost time? And she still wasn't here?
'Di, I'm coming, you go.' Arnav clenched his jaw together and lay back on the bed. Who did she think she was? She should have been here ages ago! Couldn't she do anything right?

He wasn't aware of how much time passed while he lay there and then he heard a knock on the door again. 'Di, I said I'm coming!'

There was silence and Arnav briefly felt remorseful for taking his anger out on Anjali but he wasn't in the mood to run after her and apologise. Instead he got up slowly and began to get changed.

Arnav closed his eyes when he heard knocking on his door again. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

'Anjaliji wants to know if you're ready yet.'

He'd dropped the waistcoat and ran to open the door before she'd even finished her sentence. 'Khushi!'

She wasn't crying. That was the first thing he registered. Then it was the cold unfeeling look in her eyes and finally the blue saree she wore, as beautiful in its simplicity as the red one had been in its extravagance last week.

She looked him up and down pausing at Arnav's half buttoned shirt, 'I'll tell her you'll be a few more minutes then.'

She turned to leave and Arnav suddenly felt a desperate urge to stop her leaving him and he grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside.

'What are you doing?!'

Arnav looked at Khushi trying to see the response he wanted but there was only irritation in her eyes as she struggled against his grasp. Now that he'd brought her inside the room he wasn't sure what he wanted to say, why he'd stopped her. He'd expected her to do something, say something that would give him an indication as to how to start this conversation he desperately wanted to have but she looked as if he didn't affect her at all.

'Arnavji, let go of my hand. I need to go down, Lavanyaji needs me.'

There, he had it, his opening. 'Lavanya needs you? You're here to help Lavanya?'

Khushi gave him a look as if he was stupid, 'well yes, that is what you pay me for isn't it?'

'So you're really here just to help Lavanya? Just to watch us get engaged?'

'Yes.'

'So you don't care? You don't care that I'm getting engaged today?! I'm getting engaged to Lavanya?'

Now Khushi only looked bored, 'why should I care? Get engaged, marry her, don't marry her. It doesn't bother me. It's just a job that's all. It has no meaning for me beyond that.'

Arnav caught the reference in her words and felt his anger rising. How dare she throw his own words back in his face like that? He pulled her arm and led her out to the poolside, pushing her against the exact same wall she'd been against last week. He stepped closer to her purposefully, waiting for her to get nervous, avert her gaze, close her eyes, anything.

But Khushi only stared right back at him, eyes wide open, emotionless. He stepped even closer now, leaning in towards her face. Khushi clenched her jaw together but that was the only response she made. She still stared right into his eyes, standing still not even attempting to move although he'd long since let go of her wrist.

Arnav looked into her eyes for another minute, trying futilely to find a response, a flicker of emotion but there was nothing. He punched the wall at the side of her head causing her to flinch slightly before she again adopted her blank expressionless face.

He took a step back from her seething, 'there's not going to be an engagement. Tell Di, tell Lavanya. Tell everyone to just go, just leave me alone!'

Khushi side stepped Arnav and shrugged her shoulders, 'whatever' and she walked back through the doors into his room and left and Arnav realised that he still hadn't seen her smile.