SS: Selfless, Cold and Composed - Part 4

Part 4

It took over half an hour for everybody to get Khushi's father to calm down after his attack when Khushi had refused. After helping carry her father to bed Arnav had stood on the side feeling helpless. There were so many thoughts going through his head, he was having trouble picking one train of thought and sticking with it. What was he supposed to do about Jeejaji? What was he going to tell Di? Most importantly what was he going to do about Khushi's refusal?

He'd declared so hastily that they were going to get married, another spur of the moment life changing decision. But was this one so stupid? He hadn't thought so, but obviously Khushi didn't feel the same. Her rejection had been just as bad as Lavanya's acceptance had been last week. He didn't want to be engaged to Lavanya and he didn't want to not be engaged to Khushi.

He tried to be patient as Khushi and her sister put their father to sleep but all he wanted to do was drag Khushi out and demand that she marry him. He used his time instead making numerous phone calls to at least attempt to tackle the other problem currently plaguing his mind. He hadn't completely decided how he was going to handle the situation but Di wasn't going to stay married to that creep that was for definite. Now Arnav only needed to find something concrete with which he could ensure that Shyam couldn't come crawling back some time in the future and attempt to win over his soft-hearted sister.

He was sitting at the table, alone in the living room texting when he heard the soft chimes of the payals that signalled her arrival and he stood and turned automatically. 'Khushi.'

'Why haven't you left yet?' She looked tired but determined.

Not as determined as he was though. 'I'm not leaving until I have your answer Khushi.'

'I already gave you my answer. If you didn't hear it properly before, I could repeat it for you.' She folded her arms and Arnav shook his head at her stubbornness before he hooked his hand through her folded arms and pulled her roughly out of the door and towards his car.

'What are you doing? Stop it!'

Arnav didn't stop until he had hauled her inside the car and locked it while he walked around to the other side, unlocking it only briefly as he got in himself before hitting the automatic lock again.

'Who do you think you are? You can't just push me around whenever you feel like it!' She tried to open the door in vain and continued to do so as Arnav drove.
He drove back to the same road they had stopped at earlier got out and leaned his head back against the door and closed his eyes. Oh God, this wasn't what he'd planned. He'd wanted to talk to her, to explain that he genuinely wanted to be with her, not Lavanya and instead he'd treated her exactly the same as he always did, with absolutely no consideration for her feelings.

He heard Khushi get out of her side too and walk around to him angrily. 'Can't you get the message? I said no! Is it that hard to believe that someone would ever dare say no to the great Arnav Singh Raizada?'

She poked him in the chest repeatedly as she spoke and Arnav opened his eyes marvelling at the situation. It was the middle of the night and he was on a deserted road with Khushi Kumari Gupta shouting at him and practically being physically abusive to him. It was so perfect in its absurdity that Arnav wondered how he could have possibly even have had doubts about this woman. She was clearly it, he was meant to be with her and nobody else. He spoke softly unsure as to whether he was asking her or himself, 'why?'

His softly spoken question clearly disorientated her and she seemed to momentarily forget her anger, 'why what?'

'Why everything, Khushi. Why did we meet? Why do you affect me so much? Why are you saying no?' He looked at her face bathed in moonlight. He didn't know if it was the moonlight or his recent revelation about Khushi being the one but she looked infinitely more beautiful than she had ever done before. Even more than she had looked last week when he had been so mesmerised by her beauty that he'd almost kissed her.  Arnav brought his free hand up to slowly stroke her face but she flinched and moved her face away.

'Are you serious? You think I would ever agree to marry you? I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am! So why would I want to ruin my life by getting married to you?'

She tried to move backwards as she spoke but Arnav held onto her arm, 'ruin your life? Marrying me would ruin your life?'

'I know why you're doing all of this Arnavji! You think by marrying me, you can protect your precious Jeejaji from my 'evil intentions'. But I'm not going to let you use me just so that you can play with all of our lives and keep up the belief that you really are God. Because you're not! If you were you would have known that your Jeejaji has been living in my house for the past few months and not once did he even mention that he was related to you!'

Arnav was shocked by her speech. Is this really what she thought? She thought he wanted to marry her because of Jeejaji? 'Khushi, stop! Listen to me! I don't want to protect Jeejaji from you, I want to protect you from him!'

'Well I don't need your protection! I don't need you or anybody to do anything for me! Getting married won't make my Babuji magically better, no matter what Buaji thinks! I don't need anyone!'

He looked at the pained expression on her face and he remembered her looking like that when she had told him about her parents. Really what did he know about Khushi? All week he'd been trying to remember her smile, trying to remember what he had imagined to be Khushi's usual expression. But he realised now that it was just a mask that she hid behind just like he hid behind his uncaring demeanour.

If she could show him the side of her that she hid from the rest of the world, couldn't he do the same for her? Didn't he want to? Yes, came the reply from inside his head. He wanted to know all of her secrets and he wanted to tell her all of his. He took hold of her shoulders and turned them around slowly so now she was leaning against the car. 'I am not doing this because of Jeejaji. I'm doing this because I want to, I want to marry you.'

Khushi did that mocking laugh again that she'd been doing all evening that annoyed him so much, 'You really expect me to believe that you want to marry me? The super rich Arnav Singh Raizada wants to marry a middle class girl like Khushi Kumari Gupta?'

'Khushi don't do that, don't... you might not need me Khushi, but I desperately need you. All week long I've been waiting to see you, to talk to you.'

She cut him off before he could finish, 'it wasn't 7 days ago that you told me I don't mean anything to you! That you never wanted to see my face again and now you're trying to tell me that you want to marry me? That this is the face you want to see every day?!'

'Khushi, I was lying!' He shook her shoulders slightly as if that would help her understand better, 'I didn't want to accept what I was feeling. I was trying to protect myself!'

'What?'

'Lying! Like you were before! When you said you were engaged? Wasn't that a lie to protect yourself? To hide your feelings for me?'

'What... what feelings? I said that so Mamiji would shut up, that's all!'

He could see her lie in her eyes but why couldn't she see the truth in his? 'Khushi, you can stop lying now. There's no one else here. It's just me and you.'

'I'm not lying!' Arnav could see her being unable to hold eye contact with him which only confirmed her lie to him.

'Well I was! I was lying Khushi! I was lying when I said you meant nothing to me. I did keep your payal for this long, I found it and I kept it and I would look at it and think of you.' He watched as his words made her expression change. There was still pain but it was laced with confusion, confusion that he needed to clear.

'I have feelings for you Khushi, I do. You don't mean nothing to me, you mean everything.' He stroked her cheek and this time she didn't flinch or move away. 

'I think I love you Khushi,' she closed her eyes as if she didn't want to hear him say it but he wasn't going to stop today. He needed to tell her everything. ' I know I've done a lot of stupid things and I've said so many things I didn't mean and hurt you so many more times than I could ever apologise for but I want to try and make up for all those things Khushi.'

His hand trailed over her jaw and his thumb traced her lower lip, 'do you really have no feelings for me Khushi?'

'I...' she opened her eyes looking so wonderfully confused and Arnav wanted to do nothing more than to kiss her again but first he wanted everything sorted, everything out in the open.

'You what Khushi?'

'I... I just...Arnvaji, are you telling me the truth?'

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, 'yes, Khushi. I love you, so much!' He gave in to his desire and lifted her chin towards his and kissed her lightly.

'Now will you please put me out of my misery and say you'll marry me?'

Khushi looked like she was in shock, she bit her lip and shook her head with tears in her eyes.

Arnav felt his desperation building. He had never wanted to get married ever since Di's broken wedding but with Khushi it was different, everything was different. 'Khushi? Don't you want to marry me? Please Khushi, I can't live the rest of my life like I have this week. I can't live without seeing you every day, loving you every day.'

'But... Lavanyaji, Shyamji? I can't... how can we...?'

Arnav closed his eyes as his earlier worries about Di returned, he had a plan but he wasn't sure how well it would work. 'I'll fix all of that. It doesn't matter... but Khushi will you help me?'

'Help?'

'Help me save my Di please? Help me get rid of Shyam from her life forever?'

'Of course Arnavji! I'll do anything to help Anjaliji.'

He opened his eyes and smiled at her willingness, his thoughts instantly returning to Khushi and her refusal again. He cupped her face with both of his hands gently stroking away the few tears there, 'and me? Won't you do anything for me?'

Khushi only looked at him for what seemed like an hour before she broke out into the smile he had waited a week, no make that a lifetime, to see.

It was infectious and he found himself smiling back at her, 'well? Will you marry me Khushi Kumari Gupta?'

She bit her lip again and shook her head but there were no tears this time, only mischief.

'No?' He put both hands around her waist and lifted her off the floor so they were at the same height pinning her between his body and the car. 'Nobody says no to Arnav Singh Raizada,' he said before he proceeded to ravish her mouth.

'Will you marry me?' He asked again in between kisses, he had lost count of how many times he'd asked that question tonight but he was going to keep asking until he got the answer that he wanted.

'Yes, yes, I will,' Khushi breathed throatily against his mouth in between kisses and Arnav groaned in approval as he kissed her some more.